Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mahalo, Apollo Ale

Last night, in narcissism and curiosity, I googled "Mahalo Apollo." Turns out there is a beer called Mahalo, Apollo ("Welcome, Sun God," as they translate it on their website). A summer ale, clearly.

I love beer, and I thought they should sponsor me and send me free booze, at the very least.

Last night, I informed them of this in the comment section of their beer blog. Not only was there no reply, but my thoughtfully articulated message was deleted this morning.

Game on, Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant.

Mahalo, you misinformed simpletons, is the Hawaiian word for "thank you." NOT "welcome." You're probably thinking of aloha, which actually means "hello" and "love." Idiots.

Also, if you illiterate baboons had bothered to read some Homer before naming your beverage, you would know that Apollo = God of music. Helios = God of Sun.  You'd also know about the repercussions of hubris.

In effect, your ale is really named "Thank you, Greek deity of music and manly beauty."

Mahalo Apollo is a fun rhyme. Nothing more. No need to pervert it into something it is not for the sake of sounding clever. If you wanted to do that, you should have named it: Hey, Soleil! or Bienvenidos, Helios (slightly ungrammatical).

I am the true Mahalo Apollo, you punks!

End rant.



Lilly said...

Ha. Some people just can't handle the truth.

Mahalo Apollo said...

Hahaha. I have periods of haughty unruliness on the internet.

P.S. I reeeeally hope that guy calls you. I've been stalking your blog to follow the saga like a 13-year-old Twilight fan.